We’ve got an Aussie here…
My name is Sam, I am 26 years old and I live in Sydney Australia. I am married to Nick who is a part time music minister at our church and a part time guitar teacher. We have a son named Judson who just turned one. I was a public speaker for a non for profit organisation, but I quit my job to look after Judson. Nick and decided that we always wanted kids young. The mothers in my Mothers Group are older than me by ten years. When they found out I was ONLY 26, they were baffled that I had a child young. They reminisced to the time they were 26, travelling the world, dating and moving up the corporate ladder. I just shrugged my shoulders and explained that having kids’ young was always the plan for us. I’ll admit it was rough going the first few months of Juddy’s life and the longing for my life before Judson did rear its head. However, I figured out five things that helped me stay sane and be the best mum/ wife I can be can be.
KEEP BUSY: I feel like my life is much busier than it was before I had Judson. At the moment I run a playgroup at our church, go to Mum’s and Bub’s Bible study, do graphic design work for our church, blog, meet up with friends, exercise an hour a day (this is only a recent discipline), make sure I do something creative on a regular basis, read, watch my favourite TV shows, listen to talk back radio, do housework, grocery shop, read my Bible and have time for my husband and son.
DO SOMETHING YOU LIKE EVERYDAY: I thought that I would lose my personality once a child came along. This did not happen. I know that there has been a somewhat popular stigma towards having kids; once you have them your life ends. I have found this to be completely untrue. Look I understand the hesitancy, when films such as “Life as we know it” portray parents as people who can only talk about baby stuff and their whole life, including music choices, revolve around the baby. I make sure that I still do the things that I used to do before I had Judson.
LOVE YOUR HUSBAND: I remember crying to Nick because I was sure that we would no longer be friends as I was convinced that this child was going to drive a wedge between us. So far, this has not been the case. Dr Gary Chapman wrote a book entitled “The Five Love Languages”. A “love language”, according to marriage counsellor Dr. Gary Chapmen, is a primary way of expressing and interpreting love. Of the countless ways we can show love to one another, five key categories proved to be universal and comprehensive – everyone has a love language, and we all identify primarily with one of the five love languages: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch. When Nick and I first got together, I realised that his love language is physical touch. I make sure that I give him hugs, kisses, back rubs and hold his hand. These seem like small things, but when I do this, Nick feels loved and important. I never want him to think that Judson has replaced him.
REMEMBER THAT BABIES ARE WEIRD: I came to this fact when Judson was born. One day routine would work for him and next day he hated routine. Some days he would nap and other days he wouldn’t. Monday he could be very pleasant and Tuesday he could be a butt head. Once I realised this fact that babies are weird, it made me relax and I often have to tell myself this on a daily basis.
MAKE SURE YOU EXERCISE: When I had Judson I had all this extra weight that I needed to lose. My self-esteem was very low and I needed to do something about it, so I made a point to exercise every day. This consists of a simple walk to buy groceries, Tae bo, swimming, Pilates, Zumba and running. I used these exercises to blow off some steam. So for example, when I swam laps, I cried out my frustration, when I did Tae Bo I punched the air with every bit of irritation I had in me and when I did Pilates I breathed out any negative thoughts. I exercise when Juddy is napping or when Nick is home. The more I exercise, the more I feel confident, happier and clear headed.
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