Are those all of your kids?
Yes and no. Chris brought two into our marriage, and then we had four in three-ish years. It’s been a wild, sweet, hard, beautiful adventure for close to two decades.
How did you and your husband meet?
We are ten years apart. Crazy, huh? We shared mutual friends through the local music scene in Charlotte, NC, but really got to know each other online in the early 2000’s. He played a house show at a party I attended and apparently asked about me. I got an instant message several months later that said “Something in you called out to me the first time I saw you. I’m going to make you my wife some day. Take as long as you need.” The rest is history!
What kind of nurse are you?
The fancy title is Doctor of Nursing Practice. I started out as a new grad RN (with my associates degree) in pediatric psychiatry. It was the only job I could find during the 2008/2009 recession and it was powerful, but not for me long-term. Then I spent several years on a surgical floor in the hospital, which taught me so so so so much. New grads, do not skip the hospital job! You need the experience! Next, I worked for a nonprofit hospice organization and saw patients at the end of life in their homes. It was during this time that I decided to go back to school to obtain my bachelors degree and eventually, my doctorate. I began my nurse practitioner career when I moved to Alaska. I still do that work, in long term care at a critical access hospital in Homer, but I’ve also transitioned into administrative leadership and I’m loving the experience.
I’m going to nursing school. Any tips?
For nursing school students, I have three pieces of advice. First, just pass the tests. You’ll never learn it all, and you’re really only going to nursing school to pass boards. The real nursing school starts at your first job post-graduation. Second, study every day. Just fifteen minutes of reviewing notes or an app that fires off practice questions is enough to keep your brain sharp and focused. You are not every other college student. You are in nursing school. It is hard but it is only for a few years. You must put in the work daily to be successful. Third, find your learning style. It took me nearly ten years to realize I’m an auditory learner. Do not be afraid to study differently than your peers. You might learn ten times as much if you stop taking notes and just watch your professor talk. Experiment and find the right fit for you.
Back in school as a mom? Can you tell me about your program?
Yes! I intentionally waited until I had been a practicing nurse (with my ADN) for several years before I decided to continue my education. I got my BSN online from Medical University of South Carolina in 2017, and then immediately rolled that into my graduate program. I finished in 2020, glory to God, as a Doctor of Nursing Practice (DNP). My program was primary-care focused, and I took the adult-gerontology track. The coursework was online, very collaborative and group-based. We met at the university once per semester for lectures and exams. The DNP degree is considered the top/terminal degree for clinical nurses. I chose this for several reasons. First, I wanted to go back to school one time, for all of the things. The doctorate was only one more year. Second, legislation is moving toward doctoral level schooling and my program had already dissolved the master’s degree by the time I enrolled. Third, nurse practitioners can practice without a supervising physician in some areas (like my current state, Alaska), and I wanted the maximum amount of training for that.
What’s it like being married to a man who’s been married before?
Of course he came with a little emotional baggage, but doesn’t everyone? To be honest, I’ve made jokes about how nice it is to be this man’s second wife. He knows how hard marriage can be, he knows his weaknesses and his trigger points, and he wakes up every day trying to serve me and love me well. Who wouldn’t want that from a husband?
Do you have any advice for new twin parents?
Yes! Take a LOT of pictures. You probably won’t remember the first year, and it’s 100% okay. I haven’t met a lot of twin parents who do. But I knew that going into it, and I took a lot of pictures and smiled a lot and reminded myself that it would fly by. It did. If anything, I think that season with twins was even sweeter because we knew how special and fleeting it was. Oh, another thing! Try keeping them on the same schedule in the beginning. If one baby is fussy, everyone eats. If one baby wakes up, everyone gets up. It worked really well for us and made the nighttime run smoother, and they sort of synced up with each other.
What kind of skincare products do you love?
It changes, because I’m happy to try anything! I will always use vitamin C and retinol in some form. I follow the Korean skincare method loosely; it’s therapeutic for me to spend a few moments starting and finishing the day caring for my face. I’m also a big fan of Glossier. Like, I bought everything over the course of a few years and eventually, they asked me to be a brand rep. I’m also partial to Supergoop products. If I could afford it, I’d get a facial every month. They really are transformative and crucial to cell turnover. Oh, and diet really does matter. For me, sugar and processed foods are worse than dairy. Disclaimer: I’ve been dabbling in skincare for nearly four years, so take your time! If I could give just one piece of advice, it would be wash your face at night and give it lots of moisture. If I could recommend just one product, it would be two (sorry). Vitamin C in the morning, and a retinol or retinoid at night.
Your house is so pretty! Can we have a tour?
It’s kind of a “what you see is what you get” situation. Our Carolina farm house was built in 1890; we purchased it as a foreclosure. It needed/needs a lot fo work, but we painted the walls white and bought a white washable couch and that’s what makes it so pretty on the Insta. You can literally see the dirt of our crawlspace between the floor planks in places and most of the surfaces have a hundred year-old layer of grime stained into them. But she’s got great bones and she’s served us well! // Update: we are currently adjusting to life in a sort-of cabin in Homer, Alaska!
What kind of Bible do you use?
I have two. I carry a small ESV with me everywhere, and I use it for taking notes in meetings and church services, etc. Basically, it’s my “when others preach to me” Bible. I keep the other at home, for my times with the Lord. That’s the one you guys see a lot and ask about. It’s an NIV/MSG side-by-side from Zondervan. I like ChristianBook.com for Bibles! Another interesting fact about my Bible reading is that I rarely journal or take notes on paper. I write in my Bibles; I’m collecting them to give to my children someday.
Capsule wardrobe? Slow fashion? Please explain.
The idea is that you know what you like and you know what looks good on you. Everything in your closet is somewhat coordinated and you never worry about what to wear on any given day. You keep the items visible and to a minimum, and you shop rarely and intentionally. Once you’ve mastered that part, you can move on to buying second-hand or only sustainable brands that help the environment. There are lots of benefits! Each member of our family has adopted the concept, and it’s been incredibly life-giving for us. I like to think of it as warfare, because I’m freed up to spend time and money and energy on things that matter. Once I got the capsule wardrobe system down, I started paying closer attention to the source of my clothing before I bought it. Nowadays, I try to purchase second-hand to decrease my environmental impact. I also prefer small batch pieces from brands that are transparent about their manufacturing. That way, I can rest assured that my money is going to an ethical company that treats its employees fairly.
I want to start sharing my life with students. How do I start?
Go where the kids are. Sign up to serve with the student ministry at your church, and if there isn’t one or you don’t have a church, do something about it. Be totally and completely yourself. Pay attention to pop culture. Pray for teenagers. They’re dealing with adult-sized problems with child-sized experience. Invite students into your daily life, especially the mundane parts. Under-promise. Over-deliver. Oh! And if you’re older than 25, spend time with someone just a few years behind you. Grab a college student, or a new mom, and take her to lunch once a month. You’ll both be blessed!
What kind of resources do you recommend for a white person who cares about racial reconciliation and specifically, Black America?
Read! Listen! Pray! Lean in! Share your life with people who don’t look like you. Resist the notion that racism is in the past. Resist the temptation to stay in your comfort zone. Pray some more!
Why aren’t you on Instagram anymore?
The official post about my journey with social media is here, but the short answer is that I feel my time there is complete for now. I’ve been on Instagram for ten years, and working on the difficult parts of my relationship with it for close to five. After counting the cost, it got to the point where there was nowhere to go but home. I was/am addicted to the scrolling, and I need to work on that. But also, I found myself comparing too much, and caring more about what online acquaintances thought about me than my own children’s perspectives on life. Because I don’t have to be on social media for my job during this season, I’d rather focus on the things in life I do have to show up for.