We’ve been in the farmhouse a little over a year now, and we’re just starting to sink our teeth into the decorating process. I didn’t want to rush and have to change things around later, so we decided to sit on the whole process for awhile. And then we had a baby. And then things got a bit crazy, as things tend to do. Our lives aren’t slowing down by any means, but we’ve made it a goal to get a little more settled this year. In January, I wrote it down – to make this house a place my children call home. They might not notice or care, but it’s amazing what a coat of paint and a piece of art can do for my spirit.
Interior design means something different to us then it did several years ago. There are budgets and time constraints to consider, napping babies to respect, and crooked walls to accommodate. Things move along much slower, and it can be frustrating to have to leave a room unfinished for a period of days or weeks. I don’t do well with that. I’m a big fan of checking things off of lists, of setting goals and then meeting them, of forward progress. I struggle with these weird, somewhat random emotions, when something isn’t moving along or getting done. It doesn’t matter how big or small the task, I feel ugly things if it doesn’t go according to plan. Shame. Failure. Embarrassment. Inadequacy. Weakness.
One of the things I’m learning, though, is that junk is not from the Lord. My unfinished business, my imperfect progress, my one step back for every two forward… that stuff is just part of the good work that He started in me. The unfinished paint jobs, the rough days of motherhood, the half-completed journals, the slow pace of career growth… all of these things are just pieces of a greater story that He wants to tell through me.
When He died on that cross, He told me it was finished. These days, I can’t afford to take the Lord at anything less than His word. I can’t afford to strive for anything or anyone who I am right here in this moment. With walls unpainted and checklists still out there waiting for me, I tend to want to disagree. But it doesn’t make His good news any less true. Jesus tells me that it’s finished. So I’m going with that today.