January 28, 2022

I open the door and smile out loud. I have arrived to my hotel room, alone for the first time in a long time, settled in for an introvert’s dream of a night. There is a view of both city and ocean. There is cable TV, complete with a guide channel. There are robes and slippers and lots of pillows, all crisp and white.

I order a chopped salad and a mini bottle of champagne, hoping to host my own celebratory party in anticipation of an exam tomorrow. I receive a phone call shortly after… we’re out of this champagne; would you take that?

Of course, of course. Whatever is fine. I’m the gal who answers to the wrong name and takes a mixed-up order at a restaurant. I do not wish to make a scene. Whatever is fine.

The knock at the door is navigated with awkward pleasantries and masks and will you please hold the door so I can set this down and sign the receipt? Did you just arrive to town? Welcome. I brought you two glasses just in case, the kind employee says. Slightly confused and perpetually embarrassed, I tip well and hastily close the door. Only then am I able to assess what has been ordered to my room… a full-sized bottle of champagne, complete with a bucket of ice.

Only mildly concerned about what the hotel staff think of me ordering an entire bottle for myself at 5pm, I immediately set about my next task. We do not waste; I must research how to save the rest and get it back home on an airplane. Did you know a metal spoon, inverted in the bottle, purportedly preserves the bubbles? Perhaps a water bottle saves us. Stay tuned. I’m headed to the steam room.