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The Same Page, Week 1

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I spent the last few weeks just trying to get through the first chapter of Grace for the Good Girl. I’m certainly going to have to pick up the pace, for the sake of not stretching out one book for six months… but dang. Emily’s words are tearing me up! My paper copy resembles one of my middle school rough drafts – underlining, circling, arrows everywhere. For this post, I decided to share a few quotes, along with my interpretations. I might get better as I progress through the book, but right now I just can’t afford to focus on one thought. He’s moving me too much to stay put for too long.

On being a good girl hiding…
It doesn’t matter who you are; I want you to like me… Um, amen? I’ve spent the last two decades trying to make sure everyone I meet gets a good impression of me. Just the other day, I met a girl at church while hurrying through my motherhood routine. Ten minutes after she left, I was overcome with dread, that I’d given her the wrong impression, that I’d said the wrong things, that I hadn’t extended my hand to shake hers. I found her on Facebook and vomited all of my anxiety into her inbox, because I can’t stand the way the guilt shame devil creeps in and makes me feel.

On giving up on hiding and allowing yourself to be found…
The cross gives us permission to sit down on the inside because we have a God who knows what he’s doing. Deep breath. And a little zing to my pride. Y’all probably know this by now, but I’m a doer. I say yes. I don’t get tired. I don’t need to sit down. I somehow think I’ve found a way strong-arm my own version of the gospel into aligning with my desires and goals. Reading a woman tell me to sit down and focus on the cross wounds me and soothes me in the most beautifully twisted way.

On exercising faith, REAL faith…
I want to let go, rest, and believe, so that he can hold, refresh and redeem. But what if I do and he doesn’t? To read between the lines of faith is to see Jesus. I realized that I’ve never truly lived by faith. I know what it means and I know how to do it, but I don’t. Why? Because if I were honest, I’d admit that those exact words have crossed my mind countless times… what if I let go and He doesn’t come through? I speak and sing and gush of His faithfulness all day long, and yet I’ve never really invited Him to show his faithfulness to me. He’s had to knock on the door of my heart and ask to love me, every single time.

Fear drives. Love leads. Any questions?

It’s time for this good girl to come out of hiding. It’s time for me to be led gently by love, instead of driven harshly by fear. It’s time for me to open up my arms and heart. Here it is, Lord. I’m shaky and nervous and a little bit embarrassed, but here I am.

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Don’t forget to link up below! Just joining in on the fun? Welcome! Read all about our book club here. Next week, we’ll be taking a little book break to celebrate Thanksgiving. This linkup won’t be book-related, so don’t feel like you have to be reading along with us. The following week, we’ll be covering chapters 2-5. Ambitious? Maybe, but read what you can and share what you want. See y’all next Thursday!

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18 Comments

  • Reply Blair @ Wild and Precious November 15, 2012 at 10:28 AM

    girl i hear you on the anxiety vomit reaction.

    so glad to be doing this with you!
    xo

  • Reply Alissa BC November 15, 2012 at 11:21 AM

    Haven’t read the book, but that first quote DEFINES me. Seriously, everyone I’ve ever met, and probably some I haven’t. Constantly doing the next day apologies to people who probably don’t even care, just for my own gratification. Seriously, what is with that? Man, thanks for sharing!

    • Reply Blair @ Wild and Precious November 15, 2012 at 6:48 PM

      Alissa you would love this book. it will wreck you beautifully. but you will love it! hope you’ll check it out and join in!

    • Reply Bridget Schmidt November 16, 2012 at 11:02 PM

      “Constantly doing the next day apologies to people who probably don’t even care, just for my own gratification. “
      I do this in my head. It would be hilarious if it weren’t so sad!

    • Reply rachael November 17, 2012 at 11:09 PM

      Preach it! I’m sick of tossing & turning at night. Hope you decide to join us!

  • Reply Brooke November 15, 2012 at 2:53 PM

    Thanks for sharing and being so honest. I’m reading this and linking up with you guys and this book has rocked my core from the Introduction. Glad to be sharing this with you all.

    Brooke
    http://bits-of-brooke.blogspot.com/

    • Reply rachael November 17, 2012 at 11:10 PM

      Glad to have you along!

  • Reply Lindsey Kubly November 15, 2012 at 4:14 PM

    love that i’m not the only one who is feeling raw after reading the first chapter. thanks for being so honest!

  • Reply Sara, Plain and Tall November 16, 2012 at 9:32 AM

    Oh, I SO feel like it has taken me months to get passed chapter 2! This was the perfect motivator for me to keep reading at a little faster rate. :)

    I don’t have a blog anymore, so I’ll write my thoughts here if that’s okay?

    “Chances are, if you are a good girl like me, you can relate to the hiding. You may be hiding from something, hiding behind something, or simply hiding something. The concept of hiding isn’t new. It started way back in the beginning…the hiding has kept me silent in relationships when I could have spoken out. It has kept me paralyzed with fear and anxiety when I could have danced in freedom. And this prison of self-protection has kept me from receiving the boundless, unfathomable, gracious love of God.”

    I am often terrified of what people will think if they realize I don’t have everything as perfectly put together as I work really hard at portraying on the outside. But what I’m learning through the #shereadstruth community AND this book, is that, not only am I missing out on a lot of life, I’m missing out on the rest that comes from knowing I am incomprehensibly loved by Him.

    Thanks for walking us through this! You’re a doll. :)

    • Reply rachael November 17, 2012 at 11:10 PM

      You hit the nail on the head! We’re missing out! Tired of that. Thanks for sharing!

  • Reply Megan Boucher November 16, 2012 at 7:24 PM

    Thanks for sharing and being so open! I really love that about you Rachael. I just finished my first post and it was SO scary to write some of the stuff I wrote. I’m not usually so transparent on my blog. But its good. Its a good change for me.

    I hope you and the family have a truly blessed Thanksgiving!

    Megan

    • Reply rachael November 17, 2012 at 11:11 PM

      I’m glad you wrote the scary stuff!

  • Reply Bridget Schmidt November 16, 2012 at 11:11 PM

    I’m so glad I stumbled across this book study. (Thanks for doing it!) I’ve been wanting (needing) to read this book, and I’m looking forward to sharing with all the other good girls.

    • Reply rachael November 17, 2012 at 11:11 PM

      Welcome aboard! Glad you stumbled across us, too.

  • Reply Brooke November 18, 2012 at 3:44 AM

    It’s so refreshing to hear other women share their struggles with these good girl issues! I can’t begin to count the times I have worried I didn’t make the right impression and analyzed every word I said in a conversation with someone. Thanks for sharing and for co-hosting this book club!

  • Reply Megan November 20, 2012 at 1:54 PM

    So excited to be doing this! Thanks for this book club!

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