take it back


I had hoped Hadassah would nap while I fed the pigs breakfast, but it appeared to be a no-go on this particular monring. So instead of pushing the issue, I scooped her up and pulled her into my lap after I made my oatmeal. I enjoyed a few bites while the rest of the kids finished their dry cereal and played on the kitchen floor. Suddenly, the baby pooped on me. Like, straight through her onesie and onto my lap, missing her pants entirely. I looked up at Isaiah Jane in shock and tried to laugh, but she had a surprise of her own. IJ had apparently swallowed too much water in one gulp, and proceeded to spew it all over me, Hadassah Lee, and the carpet. I set aside my breakfast and jumped up to get everyone dry and changed.

By the time I was actually ready to leave the house, the oatmeal had grown cold and the ice had melted in my coffee. Tempted to throw it out and leave without eating, I set the dishes by the sink. On the way out a few minutes later, though, I stopped myself. I took my breakfast with me, dishes and all, photographing them on the tailgate of the Suburban before I took off. I later enjoyed my freezing-cold oatmeal in the driver’s seat after I’d arrived at my destination. I needed to remind myself of a few things.

First of all, I’m lucky to have food to put in my stomach. My church just finished collecting snacks for a local elementary school where kids often arrive hungry. It’s in our own backyard, and it isn’t a joke. I am rich because I get to eat breakfast every day. Second of all, I am not owned by interruptions. I am not a victim of my surroundings, of the tiny moments that threaten to drag me down throughout the day. Gratefulness is one of the easiest ways to reset my mood, but I must work for it. I must fight to take back my day, sometimes over and over again. It isn’t enough to talk about the things that make us thankful. It’s the sometimes-painful, daily practice of gratitude that shapes us. These days, I’m choosing to work.

6 thoughts on “take it back”

  1. oh man. such conviction this morning. I got SO aggravated at an angry three year old who wanted to wear flip flops in 40 degree weather. my heart hurts with my impatience. what a great reminder this is….I am rich because I have a child who is healthy enough to argue over shoes and because we have closets of them to choose from. thank you.

  2. I’ve been ‘lurking’ for a while, and I just have to say that I love your blog. i can’t even remember how I found it. But we have a few things in common.. I’m an RN also (though i am home right now with my baby and toddler), I like to keep my house clean (maybe too much so), I am into all that ‘natural stuff’ ie cloth dipes and breastfeeding.. the list goes on! I think I really started following your blog after reading your keeping-it-moving-and-slowing-it-down post.. because i said.. aha! that’s me! anyway. thanks. you’re amazing.
    and i was reading a post where you did a voice recording… (reading archives while bfing my babe)… and your accent is awesome ;) (i live in eastern canada ;)

  3. Love the simplicity and transparency each of your posts bring. Everytime I read I’m like “Dangit I wish we could be real life friends!!” :)

  4. I love this!! It’s true that we must work at gratitude. I must say a HUGE thanks to your church for what they are doing with Piney Grove. My oldest friend has been a teacher there for years and she and her husband have finally found a church home with your church as a result. I’ve been praying for them to plug into a church for a long time, and I’m so glad they finally have!!

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