On continuing to give when they continue to take.

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As parents, we learn very quickly that raising kids isn’t exactly symbiotic work. It’s our job to provide children with a safe, nurturing environment for them to learn about life and all that it has to offer. It’s their job to take advantage of that environment as much as possible, so that they might enter adulthood with confidence and preparedness. As spouses, we learn very quickly that nothing is ever 50/50. We’re reminded over and over that we should not keep score, and then we do it anyway. As employees, we learn very quickly that nothing is ever fair. We’re reminded over and over to keep a positive attitude as we crank out the productivity, and we give coworkers the side eye when they don’t pull their own weight.

Life is full of situations where people take from us far more than they give, but there’s something in us that pouts and screams unfair when it happens. We want the give and we want the take, but we want it served squarely down the middle. Too bad. Life is absolutely about give and take, but life is not about fair. After all, Jesus set the bar pretty clearly. We were broken from the start, and He made us whole on the cross. He did some serious giving, y’all, and all we have to do is take that Gift. But it doesn’t stop there; He continues to give freely every time we live out of our nature and screw up with something like… pouting about the give and the take of this world.

What would it look like if we just swallowed this as truth and went about our business? What if we woke up every morning and tripped over the shoes in the hall and whispered a blessing over our children, instead of a curse? What if we lay in bed at night and reflected on the day’s wins within our marriage, refusing to keep score with our spouse?  What if we went to work every day and smiled at the coworker showed up late again without getting in trouble?


There is freedom to be found in losing all sense of entitlement and fairness and whose turn it is. There is freedom to be found in living for an audience of One. There is freedom to be found in grasping the gravity of the gifts we’ve been given. There is so much freedom to be found. So find it. Be free.

8 thoughts on “On continuing to give when they continue to take.”

  1. I did this today as I picked up my husband’s boxers off the bathroom floor. It required an intentional mindset change to not complain as I did it, but it was SO much easier and less dramatic to just pick them up without getting nasty over it.

    Thanks for such a great reminder!

  2. Thank you so much for this, Rachael. This is exactly what I needed to hear the day after finding out my hours at work have been cut down significantly for seemingly no reason. Instead of drafting an angry email, this week I’ll be smiling at the person who does our scheduling and at my coworkers who got “my” hours.

    1. Who knows? Maybe something even better (and more lucrative) might begin to fill that time? I know it’s a little “glass half full,” but hey… the perspective is better than the alternative. At least for me ;)

  3. This speaks to my soul so much. I’m a long time reader, first time commenter. We’ve just had our second child and I am finding myself in a season of giving over and over. To say I’m joyful about it would be lying. As i write this I’m holding my 4 week old baby girl while my husband and two year old are asleep in our bedroom. I’ve been up all night with our littlest. Thank you for writing exactly what I needed to hear.

    His grace is sufficient enough. We can keep giving joyfully because of Him.

    1. Thank you for saying something! You will sleep again… just not for awhile. Grateful to have you aboard this journey; enjoy that baby girl!

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