my husband took all of my money

It’s been building for weeks years, but Christopher finally wrestled control of our finances away from me this weekend.

Truthfully, we both knew I never wanted to be in charge. I am not a numbers person, and I’m certainly not a visionary. I am, however, detailed and practical and generally scared of losing control. One newly-opened account led to another, which led to login information created, which led to numbers stored and email addresses saved and before we knew it… I was the family’s accountant. It became too difficult to let him in. I managed things as best as I could, while hoping (and hinting) that he’d eventually take over.

This past weekend, he did. We sat down during naptime and walked through everything in a little under an hour. I basically just gave him the information to each account, and then it was over. He told me to expect a lot of communication over the next few weeks, but then it should taper down to weekly updates.

Me: But, but… we didn’t really discuss anything just now.
Husband: Rachael, I’ve done this before.
Me: Yes, but poorly. ::winces::
Husband: That’s not true. I just didn’t have any money.

Then we both burst into laughter. God has brought us so far over the last several years. It is such a relief to hand over such a heavy weight to such a capable partner. I’m absolutely terrified at the notion of being out of the loop, but I’m absolutely giddy that we’re growing like this. We’re slowly learning to recognize weaknesses and strengths in each other, and then adapt to them in order to thrive as a family.

Wish us luck. Happy-go-lucky Christopher Kincaid is the new CFO of our parade!

10 thoughts on “my husband took all of my money”

    1. Actually, the bill itself is more-or-less a suggestion. Just send in each statement with a picture of your cute kids and call it even. Oh, but the dog-sitting bill must be settled with candy.

  1. While I enjoy all your posts, this is the first one I have read and felt like I could kind of relate. Ben and I are moving in to the phase in our relationship where our finances are crossing paths more and more, and it terrifies me. I think for me, it’s the idea of not being as independent as what I’m used to. Overall, it’s a good thing, though, if no other reason than I think it says a lot about how our relationship has grown. And if there is anyone on the planet who I trust completely when it comes to finances, it’s Ben.

  2. Is it completely terrible that money is SO stressful for me, that even in my pre-marital state I dream of a husband that will hand me an envelope of cash each month and just tell me to make it last!?! I will too!! I’m great at being careful, but the overall concept of finances, retirement, wants/needs, causes me to sweat. Le Sigh. Best of luck, Mr. Kincaid, CFO. :)

  3. You two are just so cute. After almost 5 years I still manage the finances. When we got married I thought I would need to hand it over to my husband and he would take charge of all the finances. After a few dropped balls, huge arguments, and me about to loose my gasket, my pastor’s wife gave me some wisdom…. it’s OK if I manage the money. We’re slowly working towards a semi cash system. It will keep us both on the same page and accountable to each other.

  4. This kind of happened with us, except the other way around. My husband is the breadwinner and I stay home, we at first just figured he’d run the finances. But he really sucks at it. He sucks at remembering to pay bills and he’s just generally someone to spend until there isn’t anything left to spend. So I took over our finances because I’m a control freak and always want to know just how much is in the bank and where all the money is going. We don’t have any arguments over money anymore, he trusts that I’ll take care of the bills and we know our strengths. It’s great when one partner can just take over.

    1. I love this. So us, I think… because I make more money, it became unnaturally natural for me to control the finances – even though I’m pretty horrible at it! Glad y’all found something that works!

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