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when i stopped counting.

This time around, I haven’t counted anything. I don’t keep track of distance between nursing sessions, or the amount of hours slept. I don’t look at scales or measure milk. I don’t think too far ahead or too far behind. I cringe when people ask me how old she is, because I don’t want to think about it. This time around, I’ve stayed right her, in each moment. I cry when her diapers grow too tight and she fights to hold her own head up; this time, out of sadness instead of relief. I simply can’t use the word redemptive enough.

It absolutely took me three newborns to get here, and I have no regrets. But oh, how I wish I could go back do it over with each of my other children. Even for just a day. Instead, I’ll rest in the joy that is Hadassah Lee. And I’ll shout it from the rooftops, to any pregnant or new moms who will listen… please, for the love of all things precious, do yourself a favor and stop counting.

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25 Comments

  • Reply Courtney September 18, 2013 at 11:02 AM

    Yes. All of it.

  • Reply Jessica Kiger September 18, 2013 at 3:08 PM

    Amen. My baby is 2 1/2 months old and he’s my second. I’m right there with you. No counting, no reading about the next milestone. Simply enjoying being present with my boy. They grow up so fast right before my eyes. I keep saying “you don’t have to figure everything out, you just take your time.”

  • Reply Molly September 18, 2013 at 3:26 PM

    I love this! I’m pregnant with baby #3 and this is a great reminder for when she arrives ;)

  • Reply Kassie R September 18, 2013 at 6:14 PM

    Beautiful…. I’m having baby #3 in February and gosh it goes so quickly.

  • Reply kk @ the mom diggity September 18, 2013 at 6:15 PM

    Absolutely perfect. I feel exactly the same way about my #3!!!

  • Reply Heather September 18, 2013 at 6:24 PM

    It’s so hard for me not to count the hours of sleep I’m getting/not getting. But this time is so fleeting and you’re right – I think I’d be a little happier if I stopped counting.

  • Reply jessi bridges September 18, 2013 at 7:16 PM

    I noticed almost immediately with my second one that since I wasn’t worried about all those things, and I wasn’t learning how to be a mom, I was enjoying my baby more and able to fall in love with him more and more every day. Not that I didn’t love my first, obviously. It’s just that I was worried about so many things that didn’t really matter, it was difficult to just enjoy him like I have with his brother.

  • Reply Emily Kate September 18, 2013 at 10:06 PM

    Sooo true. On my third bubba and I wish I could slow the hours down, just loving it all!

  • Reply Diane September 19, 2013 at 1:37 AM

    I’m expecting my first very soon and love this post!! I’m gonna try … :) Thank for the encouragement.

  • Reply Lauren Thompson September 19, 2013 at 7:56 PM

    So sweet! Children are so wonderful at living in the moment, and I try hard to be as good at that as my son is. I always fail. I will never be as “present” as he is, but I am a better mom for trying, that’s for sure. Thanks for the powerful thoughts.

  • Reply Mindy Harris September 24, 2013 at 3:11 AM

    amen and amen, honey! truman is my 3rd and i stopped counting with him!

  • Reply Jacquelynn September 24, 2013 at 1:34 PM

    Thank you for this! Beautifully said and this new mama is blessed to have read your words this morning!

  • Reply Jeff Goins September 28, 2013 at 1:16 AM

    Beautiful. We stopped counting, too.

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  • Reply erika (@chambanachik) October 1, 2013 at 1:49 PM

    I had my second baby a few months ago- probably my last- and I feel this way every second of every day. I don’t wish any of it away. It feels so good to feel like this, though.

  • Reply Kate October 1, 2013 at 6:11 PM

    Yes! Unbeleivably, yes.

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