|Over the weekend, when I left my grocery list in the car. Obviously not using The Pause.|
Bringing Up Bébé is seriously changing my life! If you haven’t read it, I highly recommend. It’s not just for mamas, either. I’m currently racking my brain for ideas to get my husband interested. Any suggestions? Check out the book here.
So I’m reading it, and I’m sort of obsessed with The Pause.
It’s a main concept in the book, one upon which I’ve become rather fixated. The author explores French culture and relationships. Although she focuses a lot on parenting, her experiences have changed my views on everything from housework to dynamics at work to my marriage. The idea that we must respond to everything and everyone right way, with every answer we can think of? Apparently, that’s not how the rest of the world does things. It’s pretty much just us Americans, and the sense of urgency is downright inefficient in most situations. So what is The Pause? French people have implemented a sort of delayed reaction into their everyday routines. Apparently, they’ve been doing this for generations now- and it works. The French believe every relationship is symbiotic… and if you’ve ever read my blog during newborn months, you know I’ve never lived from this perspective.
This is not about learning patience, although that’s something upon which I could always improve. This is about observing, watching for cues and signals, and then making a decision on how to react. This is about learning how to learn from interactions with people, places, and things. Learning how to learn, instead of treating each interaction as if I already know how to handle it? Brilliant.
So I’m bringing The Pause into the Kincaid household. I’ve been working on it for about a week now, and I’ve noticed a huge difference in my own mood. I feel more rational, more peaceful, and more in control of my emotions. At home, I might take a deep breath before I respond to whatever annoys me, whether it be toddlers in my face or dirty floors. At work, I might wait a few hours before I type out that email, in order to get my thoughts more organized. And this all goes for positive interactions, too! No matter how frustrating or exciting an opportunity is, I’d love to be able to approach it with poise and a level head. I’d love to get to the point where I can incorporate The Pause into every dynamic of my life, without even realizing it.
The author says it’s true to form, that we Americans have to give this age-old idea a name and a brand. I’m okay with that! God Bless America, and long live The Pause!