Over the last few weeks, I’ve found myself caught up in the Internet world in a much different way than I’d like. In the past two years, the world wide web has been invaluable to me. I’ve met like-minded and different-minded women from around the world. I’ve learned new things about everything from fashion to health to cooking. I’ve developed supportive friendships. I’ve found a way to stay connected with people even when I’m caught up in the “house arrest” stage of motherhood.
However, I’ve recently been reminded of why I stopped blogging in college. I am too sensitive for the anonymous comments and the critical (albeit, witty & oftentimes dead-on) websites. I try my best to avoid that stuff, but sometimes I find it or it finds me anyway. I’m not writing this post to stir anything up or gain anything. I have a problem with approval and people-pleasing. I already know this. I’ve struggled with it for years, with everyone from family to schoolmates to coworkers to total strangers.
I find myself staying quiet on here for days on end, until someone asks a question in which others might show interest, or until I feel some download from the Lord that I want to share. This space seems to be growing into a safe platform for women to share and learn, with and from each other. It’s blossoming into something that fulfills me, something that’s been stirring in my heart for years. I’m just along for the ride, and I’m humbled and thankful to be doing so.
But lately, I second-guess every post. Because I’m scared of… what? Criticism? A comment without a name attached? I’m not sure. But it makes my stomach flip.
So I’m working on it. To start off with, I’m going back to the basics. While I’ve got kids and tend to write about them a lot, I’ve always tried to stay away from the “mommy blogger” stereotype. I’ve avoided picture-filled posts of outings and weekends. I’ve refrained from repeating a bunch of Instagram photos that people have already seen elsewhere. Why? Because I don’t want to bore people or give anyone the impression that I think my family is oh-so-special. However, this blog was started as a way to keep loved ones updated on my family’s goings-on. Most of those loved ones aren’t involved with social media. This is pretty much their only way of staying in touch with the day-to-day. We haven’t developed a single photo print since the girls were born!
So anyway, back to the basics.
Here is a “look at my family; we took a walk” post.
Look at my family. We took a walk.