I started getting baby fever last week. I saw a newborn at the grocery store and felt a pang in my stomach as I realized the twins were bigger. A few days later, Avery made a comment about wanting another little brother or sister. I’ve been frantically recording the gulping I hear while the sisters nurse, because those adorable sounds are gone in a flash. I think we’ve bathed them a total of four times in as many months. They just smell too sweet. I’m afraid I might wash that scent off forever.
What?! I didn’t even have baby fever when I got pregnant with the sisters. I haven’t felt this way since I first got married. I’ve been fantasizing about feeling GREAT through one last pregnancy, having a SINGLETON baby at HOME, & nursing HIM until age three (at least). Yes, I started getting baby fever last week.
So I made an appointment for Christopher. A consultation, for a you-know-what. Because he would love to have another baby, and we can’t afford to slip up and find out we’re expecting one – or two or three. Apparently, breastfeeding enhances one’s chances of having multiples. So what does that mean for the mom who’s breastfeeding twins?
But a big heart-breaking part of me is not done having kids.
I know that I’m only 25, and that it’s a big decision to be making. It doesn’t have to be made right now. But it sorta does, right? I mean, we have five children. FIVE. We’ve both been doing this parenting thing our entire adult lives. We need a little time to breathe. At some point, we need to move past the diaper stage and really grow up as a family. And another baby would officially cramp our space & style. We were okay with upgrading to a Suburban for the sisters. But a church van? Really? Maybe we could get our own TV show. That might help put them all through college.
Anyway, it’s all my family’s fault. My husband is the most patient, selfless man I’ve ever met. My stepsons are the most gentle, respectful big brothers I’ve ever seen. My toddler is the most joyful, life-loving maniac I’ve ever snuggled. And the sisters are the most laid-back, easy babies I’ve ever held. It’s all their fault. I wouldn’t mind having five more kids with this crew.
But we won’t.