This is my third post in a series started by Jessi. Women all over are writing about the ways they give up good for better. Feel free to join in and link up! I’ll keep sharing as long as I have ideas… been taking a few of yours for my personal practice, as well!
When it comes to my body, I’m still dealing with a few pregnancy injuries. The reality is they could be with me for the rest of my life. I’m back to the size I used to be, but nothing is the same. And my wardrobe is just plain awkward. Sometimes I stare at my closet and wonder who I am anymore.
We’ve got a beach trip coming up soon, and I recently got myself pumped up to buy a few key items. Last year, I was still in maternity clothes. I’d like to feel more confident on vacation and at my neighborhood pool this summer.
So far, I’ve bought nothing. Those gorgeous floppy hats look silly on my head. The maxi dresses are too long, making it look like I’m playing dress-up. I can’t afford the shoes I want, and will I even wear heels that high anyway? One afternoon, I spent a few hours looking for a bathing suit. It was a disaster. What was I thinking, pinning all of those high-waisted bikini bottoms? I pulled into my driveway on the verge of tears. I’d cut into my grocery shopping time, too – therefore coming home literally empty-handed.
After I cooled down, I felt Him smile a bit. You’re not a fashionista, Rachael. And it’s okay. I used to maintain a much funkier sense of style. Somehow, I got it in my head that I wanted to be a trendsetter. There were crazy hairstyles and American flag jeans and lip piercings and belts worn backwards. I figured I’d get my groove back after I had my son. Then I had more babies. And then life happened and I lost my confidence. And now I only know what’s trendy from Instagram, Twitter, and magazines.
I want to wear what’s comfortable, and I want it to look presentable. That’s it. I get over to the thrift stores on occasion to try and sneak some quirkiness in my closet, but I’m much more conservative than I want to admit.
So I’m admitting it. I’m giving up on fashion. Most likely, there will be no daring outfit posts and unrealistic pinterest boards and designer flash sales online. I refuse to wear pajamas all day and I like to look put-together, but I’m done pretending to care how I get there. There’s bound to be some freedom in settling into a classic look for my closet, and I’m ready to be free.